Angle On The Ankle: Kurt Angle Puts J.D. Vance in Ankle Lock, “Tim Walz Is Next”

Launching his new political watchdog group Angle On The Ankle, Legendary WWE superstar Kurt Angle has taken his signature move, the ankle lock, out of the ring and into the political arena. Vice presidential contender J.D. Vance found himself on the receiving end of Angle’s infamous submission hold, with Angle declaring, “I’ll squeeze the truth out of him to see if he’s fit for office.”

Angle, known for his Olympic gold medal and his no-nonsense attitude, decided that the best way to vet political candidates was through a method he knows best: the ankle lock. “Politicians are slippery,” Angle said. “But no one can lie when they’re in an ankle lock.”

Not stopping at Vance, Angle has announced that Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is next on his list. “I need to measure his character,” Angle stated. “If he can withstand the ankle lock, he might just have what it takes.”

Meanwhile, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has expressed his disappointment that Vance, unlike former President Donald Trump, hasn’t made an appearance on WWE yet. “It’s time to shave some heads,” McMahon insisted, referencing the infamous WrestleMania 23 match where Trump shaved McMahon’s head. “If Vance wants to be taken seriously, he needs to step into the ring.”